MY PERSONAL DESCRIPTION BY MONTH

MY PERSONAL DESCRIPTION BY MOTIVATIONAL TERM
NOVEMBER
* Banyak idea dalam perkara.
* Sukar untuk dimengertikan atau difahami sikapnya.
* Berfikiran kehadapan.
* Berfikiran unik dan bijak.
* Penuh dengan idea-idea baru yang luarbiasa.
* Pemikiran yang tajam.
* Daya firasat yang sangat halus dan tinggi.
* Sesuai jadi seorang doktor.
* Cermat dan teliti.
* Personaliti yang dinamik.
* Sifat yang berahsia, pandai mencungkil dan mencari rahsia.
* Banyak berfikir, kurang bercakap tetapi mesra.
* Berani, pemurah setia dan banyak kesabaran.
* Terlalu degil dan keras hati.
* Apabila berkehendak sesuatu, akan diusahakan sehingga berjaya.
* Tak suka marah kecuali digugat.
* Mudah ambil berat terhadap orang lain.
* Pandai muhasabah diri.
* Cara berfikir yang lain dari orang lain.
* Otak yang sangat tajam.
* Pandai mendorong diri sendiri.
* Tidak hargai pujian.
* Kekuatan semangat dan daya juang yang sangat tinggi apabila berkehendak sesuatu.
* Cuba sampai berjaya.
* Badan yang sasa.
* Kasih sayang dan emosi yang sangat mendalam dan romantik.
* Tidak pasti dengan hubungan kasih sayang.
* Suka duduk d irumah.
* Sangat rajin dan berkemampuan tinggi.
* Amanah, jujur, setia dan pandai berahsia.
* Tidak berapa berjaya dalam mengawal emosi.
* Bercita-cita tinggi.
* Perangai tidak dapat diramal dan mudah berubah-ubah

finally...

i donno whether i should write something like this on public or not
but...just for sake of clearence

finally i knew..
how far i should behave...

finally..
all my desires and thougt been totally not being permitted

finally..
i know..

again..
heartbroken..
feel ashamed..

realized da truth..
that not evryone know what u'r really hav inside
felt that been undrstood..
feel the bond that tight until shed pain inside are fading
as it shouldnt be like that

sorry that i been over the boundaries
sorry that never thought that u could felt the other way
sorry for being selfish
sorry for all the misunderstanding
sorry for all the act

no intentions to avoiding
but things seems doesnt same da way it was like before
feels like been disliked
sorry..but that's how i felt

all the fault is mine..
dont worry..dont eva blame u'rself
u are doing fine..
doing exactly fine
doing da right thin' shouldnt be something thoughtful to u

it should be me..
took all da blame...

i'm truely sorry

sense of satisfaction

yesterday been a sunshiny day..
the sun really shows it's power of heating the atmosphere
maybe it is the sign
sign that i should move on

and gladly i did
i out of my moody time
delivering my few task smoothly..
and it was satisfying...
such sense i really i'd longing to feel
sense of greatness of being able to perform well
although it may seems nothin to others..
it was meaningful to me as i'm over my cloudy period

and i wish today and so on will work well
and i hope this kind of sense will alwayz shows into my life

really tired of feeling down and unable to do something about it
because now i'm realize how selfish i am
having people that care enough of me..
and i left them worrying..
hoping...

these matter really been once a prior things in my life
being dedicating my time to bring smiles to the face of people that care for me..
the one that really took me as a big matter
still yet cannot perform really well to bring a dean list back home
such a selfish of me
to my sis and mom..sorry..

i just want to be myself..
enjoying life with friends..
although it kind of not really 'enjoy'
but i should appreciate what i've got..

there's going to be another sunshiny day for me today..hopefully
to all those loving me
i'm thankful u'r with me along da time
thanx for u'r support
i really do love u all although i dont really shows it..
i'll hope u all this stick around..
love u...

am i deepressed?

yesterday n today been a very frustrated day
frustrated of myself
i'm so moody until unable to do any of my task
havent done my tutorials
my assignment
what da hell i'm doing
still dont know what im deepressed about
cannot figure out why

how stupid i am
wasting my time..while i should done my work along da way
donno to whom i want to speak off..
donno what to speak about
total mess i'm into right now
with a test coming up over this weekend
harghhhh...total disaster..which i am doing

want to do some laundry afterwards
if not..it will become much more than i even handle

hahahah..surely hope somebody would give me a comfortness i need now without i need to tell how
even i dont know how to..
please somebody..help me

should i?

hmm..
changing environment in a short term really such hard time for me
from one place to another..
from pleasant surrounding..friends that never thought that could be the most comforting
to better desired...unknown peeps and fear of tryin to fit in

although former place been my 2nd home every weekends..
althoug they still warm welcoming me there..
but...da feeling..that i'm not belong there keepin linguring in my head

plus..they seems more happier since i moved out
maybe my absence being a joy for them
is it such a feeling or just stupid thought???
but i glad..behind all these..i found someone loving me..if not..i dont know..maybe hihi

sometime i wish i could turn back the time
wish i didnt moved out
wish i would be happy with them
share the joy of frienship
share all the good moments
laugh on jokes together
teasing the youngsters
hmmm..i miss alll that since the moment i stepped out

but nothing i can do
what been done is done
nothing i could do to change that

sometimes..my bad intuitives saying
just forget all..avoid connections and i'll be free from all those missing
as i dont care..less i will be hurt inside

but..how can i

smiles projected..merely a false of myself
for sake of others
may someone hurt by words..but this is what i felt
become more sensitive...sparks of anger always on my tips

but simply overshadowed by my hypocracy act
along my selfishness
see how i wore my mask all these times

above of all
i really miss a203..i really do

did i do wrong?

when we come into term right or not..we're simply can involve in some confusion between it
do i do it right or do i did wrong..

some will sez..it was the best could be done..maybe
some sez it was the person decision n we should respect it
and some..will sez it shouldnt be done

many peeps..many thought..n how far u'r considering outside effect b4 act towards something....


in my considering..more to the affects..
if i do this..what will happen..who will be involve...what would others say....will they misinterpret me...
how they would react..n so on..

and i cannot leave these thought althought many good friends of mine keep saying to me..
'forget about peeps..just do as u think it is right'

once..
i follow these words...
and i found that my surrounding become worst..
i think people around me doesn't like me..
they think i'm selfish..
they think i'm too cocky

hmmm
maybe that's what i am
(this will be another issue back then)

but soon..it all become lighter..
the thought merely dissapeared..
maybe the oldies saying is true..
everything will fade through time
and i hope so..then

hi

hi..
it is my first time creating my first blog page
hopefully it will be a nice n comforting place for me to reveal all thin' i thought and experiences
i dont think i'll start blogging now..just an introducing or warm welcoming to those that love to read bloggers think tank..
so wait 4 my first issue..
daaa.....